Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

When I was 6 or so, my mom and my Aunt Cookie took me to see Snow White at the theater. It's one of my earliest memories, because I was so traumatized by the movie.

Okay, remember the ending? Snow White is "dead" in her glass casket, all the dwarves are standing around her body, sniffling, and along comes Prince Charming to kiss her and carry her off and marry her and they live happily ever after...

All the kids in the audience started clapping and cheering ... and I burst into hysterical, chest-heaving, so-hard-they-make-you-hiccup sobs. Poor mom and Cookie, they hug me and ask me what on earth could be the matter. Snow White wasn't dead, she got to marry the prince and live happily ever after? Why was I so terribly upset??

Through my wracking sobs, I managed to cry out --

Me: "WHO...?"

Mom: "Yes?"

Me: "WHO'S GOING TO...?"

Cookie: "What, Steve? What's wrong?"

Me: "WHO'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THE DWARVES??"

That fucking bitch Snow White goes off to live in a goddamn palace and the poor lonely dwarves get shit-all. That selfish whore.

That's the day I realized the world is an evil place.