In Which It Is Recalled That Disabilities Trump Snot

Mr. Pabulum just reminded me that the only thing the Academy loves more than snot is disability. If you smile through a disability, you're almost a lock to get the bald gold guy.

So, sorry Clint, looks like it's Jamie's year.

(Because, not only does he smile through a disability, at one point his character has EYE SNOT. So all his Oscar-bait bases are covered.)

In related news, Mr. Pabulum is now looking for writers for his new idea - a weepy drama about a hospital in the 1930s that caters solely to paraplegics with severe allergies.

The 2005 Academy Award for Best Actor will go to...

You know who's going to win the Oscar for Best Actor? I'll tell you:

Clint Eastwood.

You wanna know why? I'll tell you:

Snot.

When Eastwood cries in $1M BABY, there aren't any tears, but torrents of semicongealed snot pour out of his nose. It's embarrassing and kind of gross ... and the Academy LOVES "embarrassing and kind of gross," especially when it's from a toughguy like Eastwood.

My proof, you ask? I'll tell you:

Russell Crowe.

Gladiator.

Few tears.

Lots of snot.

Embarrassing.

Kind of gross.

Academy Award, for an otherwise mediocre perf.

You heard it here first.